Week One

California is the shit. We love it, that's decided. Any doubts have been thoroughly quelled. We want to live here, we want to make it work, it's got everything we were hoping for and more. So allow the quest to begin. It is a tall order, find a job and a place to live in two weeks. But we can do it. We're smart, we're tactful, we're generally qualified, we've got a little money... Well, more than that guy on the sidewalk over there at least. So let's fuckin' do it! One two three go. Alright, so. Here's the thing. All the enthusiasm in the world is not enough for California standards. We assumed being really, really, really ridiculously good looking would at least get us somewhere. But, alas, maybe there is more to life. Anyway. So we have to look for a real job. Easy enough. We've all had jobs before, we know how this works. Application here, application there... Oh, they're definitely gonna call me, that manager really liked me, they said they needed someone right away! Um, why haven't they called me yet? I'll just call them, just to see what's up, when I can come in for orientation. WHAT!? They fuckin' filled the position!! Motherfuckers. They essentially guaranteed me the job. Fuck. Alright, time to keep truckin'. This won't be so bad, we'll all have jobs by the end of the week.

*Repeat previous scenario approximately 30 times for each person and fast forward to the weekend.*

This may be slightly more difficult than anticipated.